A perfectly white smile determines how others perceive you by shining brightly enough to blind them to your second head and compound eyes. Let dazzling teeth disguise the effects of your mad science hobby with today’s MetroDeal: for P1699, you get a in-depth dental exam, teeth cleaning session and a full 60 minutes of laser teeth-whitening treatment at Denta Care.

The dedicated staff at Denta Care combines the latest tooth-tending technology with meticulous skill and precision. Start the journey toward dental enlightenment with a dental exam, where any concerns, pains, or existential ennui are addressed before your charming chompers are degunked with a thorough cleaning. Afterwards, prepare for the state-of-the-art laser-whitening procedure used by Denta Care, where the shade of your teeth is carefully recorded before gums are shielded by a resin barrier and a thorough coating of hydrogen peroxide gel is applied to each mouth bone. A special dental UV light is then unleashed upon your unsuspecting incisors, bathing them in poltergeist-free light beams for 8–15 minutes. After three to four rounds of resin, gel, and shine showers, captive teeth are released back into the wild effectively camouflaged for snowy winter landscapes. Use this MetroDeal to brighten your own smile, or gift it to a loved one in need of a magical mouth metamorphosis.

Your smile will dazzle your boss, significant other(s), prospective job interviewers, and anyone else you want to impress. Already had your teeth whitened? Email friends who need to keep their smile looking good for professional reasons (salespeople, politicians, Marlboro spokespeople, teeth models, etc.) so they move up the ladder.